The power in ‘pause, uncomfortable and awkward’
Being able to make people feel comfortable in your company is a wonderful skill. But from time to time it’s totally appropriate to invoke the powers of awkward!
Awkward is that horrible silence that you believe you need to fill with anything that fills your head to say. Actors call this the element of dramatic pause. Pause is very powerful; a lot can be said in a pause, often more than something being spoken.
Have you ever had one of those phone calls when the person say’s ‘Hi it’s …’ and you have not got a clue who the person is? You have two options; start the conversation on the back foot by saying ‘I’m sorry how do I know you? I’m terrible with names’ or carry on the conversation hoping you will twig who it is before it gets embarrassing. Often a person will not help you out by giving you anything other than a name. For me I meet so many people in my work, and each one is deeply important to me, I learn intimate developments in their lives, but if I remembered every name I’d fall over with the weight of my own brain! Some people just expect you to remember because they remember you. However for some this can be a power play to put you on the back foot or to make their importance grandiose ‘of course you remember ME!’
With the use of the awkward silence a person will explain who they are and why they called without you having to feel like a forgetful Muppet. Silence is also an important tool in business, it can mean you don’t get sold something you don’t want, and it can also mean you don’t sell yourself too cheaply.
We only ever feel awkward in silence when we worry we are upsetting someone else, yet often we make clearer decisions and can keep to our word much better when we take a moment in time to pause.
It feels like things are speeding up in our world where we are bombarded with information. The power of pause can be our ally as our brain learns to keep up with multitasking.
A moment of frozen time brings us into the present and makes us clear in our interactions with others. It leaves space for intuition to step in and guide us in to heart lead decisions and communication with feeling.