In the age of social media, where misinformation and superficiality often reign, the concept of radical honesty stands as a beacon of authenticity. While I’d love to claim I coined this term, it’s undoubtedly been around longer than I have. The inspiration for this idea comes from my growing frustration with the pervasive nonsense, lies, and misinformation flooding our social media feeds. We could easily delve into the realms of politics, personal betrayals, and various other areas where dishonesty is rampant.
I could share countless personal anecdotes, dragging myself through tales of victimhood and shame. However, according to Brené Brown, a renowned researcher on vulnerability and shame, humans are hardwired for connection. Our very existence is about the interactions we make. You’ve likely heard me discuss the importance of using intuition and fostering connections. When faced with betrayal—when someone pulls the rug out from under you so hard that you’re left bruised and battered—you have two choices: retreat into victimhood or embrace radical trust.
Radical trust is essential for building strong connections and relationships. It’s crucial for healing past hurts and moving forward. Sometimes, we attract the same types of people into our lives, albeit with different faces, who repeat the same hurtful behaviours. This is where radical trust becomes vital. We must learn from these experiences, set our own boundaries, and develop the skill to recognise red flags. The issue with red flags is that when you’re viewing the world through rose-coloured glasses, those flags just look like…. flags. It takes time for someone’s true nature to reveal itself, for their triggers to become apparent. These red flags often relate to your own triggers, and you might not realise you’re waving your own flags around too. We all do it—flaunting our imperfections while pretending to be perfect. You can’t beat yourself up for not seeing the red flags.
Don’t berate yourself for missing signs or question your intuition. The whole point of existence is to connect with others, to build strong bonds and relationships. And we must do this from a place of radical trust. When you enter into any relationship—be it with a friend, family member, or romantic partner—you need to be open-hearted. Heal quickly when things don’t work out, brush yourself off, and re-embrace honesty with yourself. Trust yourself, believe in yourself, and venture back into the world with an open heart. Staying open to curiosity and possibility reduces the damage we cause in the world. Hopefully, over time, your trust will be repaired. The one thing you must never lose faith in is yourself. Don’t beat yourself up over the flags you didn’t see because you were looking through rose-coloured glasses. Instead, brush yourself off, get back up, and get back out there. It’s worth it.
