There is a basic human reason why we need and want to be of value. When people value us that’s a lovely rush of positive chemicals to the brain which lead to positive emotions. The reason for this reward is that we know on an instinctive level that we can’t survive without each other. So our basic survival depends on being accepted by the tribe. Which is one of the reasons people spout such crap on social media.
However, the drive for acceptance, to be of value to be seen can be addictive as we know from the dopamine hits we get from ‘likes’ on Facebook or Instagram. Over time the fluctuations of these dopamine hits for approval can give us a mighty come down.
So I have an antidote to the addition for appreciation.
Be a twat!
Now let’s face it the likelihood is, if you’re anything like me, you are already a twat. The art form in what I’m saying is the self-acceptance that comes will fully appreciating that you will at some point you’ll bit of a twat, or at least some twat will think you’re a twat. Even when you don’t. And in another moment you will be the most awesome genius.
The fluctuating highs and lows of the need to be accepted by others comes from the fear that we are not enough. The question is enough for what, exactly? There will always be things we are not enough for. And what’s more, we don’t have to be. Being authentic to yourself first and foremost, without your inner voice telling you off, goes a long way towards you feeling balance emotionally by the cause and effect of the outside world’s acceptance of you.
Interestingly enough, the more free and easy a person is to be around themselves the more people like them. The less we try the more we find our tribe.
So embrace your inner twat and embrace your inner genius. Neither one is better than the other, they just are who you are. There’s nothing wrong with that.