I sat with pen and paper ready to make a list. I love lists; I love the sense of satisfaction when I cross off a completed job. This is a different kind of list; it’s the list that I write almost twice a year, at the end of the year and on my birthday. It’s my wish list. I am very lucky throughout my life I have been able to make most of my wishes come true, but stepping closer towards 2012 I can’t make the list.
I can’t make the list because I feel liberated from the feeling that I have to get somewhere, complete something or do something to feel like I am ‘doing well’ in 2012. If the uncertainty of 2011 has taught me anything, it’s reinforced the idea that we can only create from past experience and what I believe to be possible. I feel liberated from hanging onto past ideals. If you’re always using the same colours you’re going to create similar art. My lists would be of new colours I wanted to paint with, by thinking like this I am cutting out the possibility of creating amazing monster 3D kick ass thing.
Your future blank page is often scary. We project onto that page fearful images or our dreams and sometimes a mixture of both. Leaving it blank means we can be open to more amazing imagery then we could imagine. It’s liberation from control, but there is still likely a sense of fear, the ego want’s to hold on to what it knows but the heart wants to fly free and create. My intuition can read the list and let me know what feels good and what doesn’t feel good, but what is liberating is to live on heart felt intuition.
I invite you in your thoughts of next year, to simply get excited about potential and possibility, of experiencing a new you, one that you might never have met before. Of feeling liberated without thinking you need money to afford it. Not making career plans or relationship moves, but simply being in flow. Being willing to say yes and play with the potential without worrying about results.
I have always done this in part throughout my life, but now I think it’s time to really let go of the constructs that we build who we think we are upon. It’s an exciting possibility and far more fun, then being careful.