I have noticed lately though, that the concept that we have manifested everything that happens to us is now being used as a negative judgment tool; another thing for us to feel guilty about, ‘What did I do to manifest my ill fortune?’ Even more shocking, is that it is also being used to negatively judge others.

A friend of mine who is battling liver cancer was asked what she had done to manifest having cancer. This was then closely followed by the observation that the liver is all about anger so she needs to ask herself what unresolved anger issues she has. She wanted to reply (but didn’t) ‘I have always wanted to punch insensitive people and I repress it!’

Someone also asked me recently how someone who had been a speaker and author in the field of spirituality could have got breast cancer.

In addition to my belief in manifestation I also believe that ‘stuff’ just happens, we might not know at the time why it happens. But self-blame is unproductive.

It seems interesting to me, that when we create an act of genius we are happy to put it down to a God like force flowing through us. But when bad things happen to good people they must have done something ‘to be in alignment’ with it. Making us feel horrible and guilty on top of having something to deal with.

Often bad things happen for good reasons. They are an inoculation to give us the skills to grow into being strong enough for our life’s purpose. Bad things are growth givers, and if you choose to look at them that way then you can no longer call them bad.

The question we really need to ask is not ‘how am I at fault?’ but to ask ‘how can I bring more love to this situation?’ or ‘how can I best grow from this situation?’

There is a way of talking in the spiritual community that seems to be slightly patronising; creating a belief that it is frowned upon to express disappointment, to acknowledge your upset or to moan about your lot. However, not being able to authentically express yourself means you become disconnected, which can lead to feelings of loneliness. Words maybe powerful and they may manifest, but so does bottling up how you feel for fear of being seen as ‘unspiritual’. That to me isn’t spirituality.

Be kind to yourself and others, that’s the best spiritual manifestation tool of love I can think of. 

Have you ever found yourself in a relationship where you’re thinking ‘I’m not being myself?’

You might feel like that in a relationship at work, in a friendship or even in your own family. You might strive to try and find who your real self is, or be struggling to get your true self seen. However the chances are it isn’t your fault; you might have fallen into the role of an actor in someone else’s life play.

We all have a script for life that we create in childhood; often it’s called a life map. This ‘script’ is created by what we are taught about the world and it becomes the compass we navigate through life with. However life is always giving us new information and we must readjust the ‘script’ in order to keep it accurate.

So what happens if the script holds a belief that is deemed fundamental to our feeling of safety, something so profound that we would rather redraw the world than change this aspect of the life map?

For example, people with rigid beliefs about themselves and how others treat them, find safety and comfort in what they believe, even if that belief limits them. It is what they have experienced and they are sticking to it. So this relates to their personal script, the one they drew to navigate their personal story. In this case it creates a container for who we believe we are and how we show up in the world, and depending on how open and flexible we are will depend upon how rigid this container is.

One lady I worked with believed that she “always gets bullied”. Her mother was a bully; she was bullied at school, and she was coming to see me as she was being bullied at work. Our conversation was going well, and then as we were getting close to a breakthrough she stopped understanding what I was saying. Her personality changed and I started to get frustrated, I couldn’t understand what had happened. So I went back, and talked about something she had already agreed on before, however this time she switched her opinion and disagreed.

I suddenly realised that she had shifted into ‘child’ and I was acting like a ‘disappointed parent’, and if this hadn’t been in a professional relationship, I wonder if she would have turned the balance of the relationship into a victim and persecutor. This interaction helped her see that she was forcing people to become bullies in order to fulfil her life map / script.

In another similar example, a man I knew accused the world of being judgemental against him, but in conversation would constantly say things that would give the world a negative impression of himself. The things he said often weren’t true, and he admitted he would say them for effect; and the desired effect of judgement is what he got.

So now is the time to reassess those relationships, where you feel like you are not being yourself, or not being allowed to be true to yourself; and also to ask yourself authentically if you could be expecting others to fit into your own life script in some way.

Intuition is a great tool to check in with yourself and see if you are playing out an old part in your own life script and expecting people to be actors in your story. But also intuitive knowing can tell you when you’re playing a role in someone else’s story. This means you can stop this from happening and maybe show a brighter direction in someone else’s journey. 

Spring is here and there is always something fresh about it. People want to have a ‘spring’ clean, feel new and revitalised, and wash off the staleness of winter.

Spring often makes you think of new beginnings. You might think more about moving house or job. You might think of where you would like to travel, or where to go for a quick getaway.

However, if you don’t have the means by which to make changes, it can leave you feeling stuck and disappointed. So here are some tips on how to feel like you’re having a fresh start without needing to do much moving about or spend lots of cash.

Body:

• Have a bath in bath salts. It not only cleans the body but also can take old emotional pain out of the aura and pain body.
• Change something about how you wear your hair or nails. Small changes work, especially when other people positively notice.
• Wear some colourful clothes. This brings more colour to the face and you look healthier, even if you’re feeling a bit rubbish.

Environment:

• Get a spider plant at home or at work, they are amazing at transforming dull energy in a space into bright. I don’t know how they do it, they just do.
• Recycle stuff you don’t use.
• Move your space around. Homes always feel new when you rearrange them. Give it a good clean too.

People:

• Go through your contacts on your phone and if there are people in there you haven’t heard from in a while and you’re not really fussed, delete the contact.
• Make time to see friends you care about, but meet somewhere you haven’t been before. Give up the coffee chats for a walk or visit a place of interest.
• Flirt! I don’t care if you’re in a relationship or not. Flirt with someone it’s safe to flirt with. Flirting is what spring is all about! It’s that time of year when we have all been covered up for so long, then a little bit of sun comes out and we all start wearing just a little bit less!

Making a fresh start isn’t just about the external world; it’s also about shifting out-dated concepts. It’s about caring less about the unimportant stuff, and inviting love in more.

Be like a new spring lamb in yourself and life will start to be a fresher place.

This month’s issue has been not being able to see a way forward.

Many of us like to have a goal. Something to focus on and look forward to achieving. When we don’t have a goal or we can’t see a way out of our current situation, be it: cash flow; relationships or lack of them… Whatever it is, not knowing where we are going can feel disconcerting and downright depressing.

So here’s my advice!

Firstly, create with your imagination, and not with the facts of your situation. You might think this is being unrealistic, but everything around you now started life in someone’s imagination (beit businesses in the mind of an entrpreneur or buildings on an architect’s easel). So let go of the A to B thinking and jump right to the end. What would you like Z to look like, feel like and be like? No limits, in an ideal world what do you want to change. You might be having a laugh with me and think ‘right Becky, I want to be on a desert Island’. Well, if that’s true, about you wanting to be on desert island – lack of work, sunshine or space? Have a think around the dream you create. But do let go of how you get there. Once you make a decision it is amazing how things jump in the right direction to aid your decision. Knowing what you want through imagination means you’re not making decisions from the limitations of your past experience.

Next, stop moaning, stop looking at what you don’t have and start looking at what you do have. When you look at what you have, your talents as well as the aids you have around you, you start to see the tools that can move you forward. Looking at what you are lacking means you don’t have the tools to get creative.

Then, make some small changes that you can make. However small they may be, make them, a step in the right direction will cause a leap energetically.

Now, write a list of the six most successful people you have met, worked with or been friends with in your life. Do the same with your family, living and dead. The six most successful people who have been in your life can show you that you can be in sync with their energy. Their energy is that of a successful person. When it comes to family, it’s not only unpleasant diseases that get passed on to us, but also the talents and determination. If your family wasn’t up to much, be selective upon whose energy you call upon to aid you at this time.

You don’t have to know your way out of a situation; you just need to know that it’s possible. Draw upon any positive move you can make. When everything looks dark, just remember it takes just one small light to transform everything. When things are difficult, it takes one thing to go right to change your perspective from one of doom to a knowledge of growth. Even remembering that can be enough.

The basic truth of life is that we are on a planet which is travelling around something that burns (the Sun) and we are held down by gravity which science doesn’t understand and we have no real idea what it is all about. So we give life a meaningful point. In a sense it doesn’t matter what the meaning is, we have to a reason to live. If we don’t have a meaning for living, the enormity of the answerless questions would fry our ego mind. So much so, that for many people, life might become unbearable. Most of us need something to believe in, not always in a religious or spiritual sense, but to have a reason for living. Something connects within us when we have purpose. Getting out of bed in the morning is a joy; a light shines in our eyes.

I have two questions you might like to answer. These questions are very useful for helping find a motivation for living your best life:

• What don’t you like about the world?

Often what bugs you the most is what you were born to play a part in changing for the better. What you don’t like in others might be a root for change in yourself. Often your personal challenges are the inoculations for your fight for the bigger picture of your life. It’s as if the challenges we experience make us tougher for our service in this lifetime. Understanding what we don’t like about the world, gives us clues to why we decide to be born. It not that you have to solve this issue alone, but this annoyance is a work in progress to accept it, or do something to bring more love towards it.

• What are you doing when you like yourself the most?

Now I do like a nice slab of cheesecake, but cheesecake doesn’t make me like myself. I am not a big fan of going to the gym but the gym does make me like myself. I feel a sense of achievement, in fact I would go as far as to say, I like myself when I am suffering.

Think of as many things as you can that make you like yourself and list them. Be mindful of not writing things that simply make you happy. Often what makes you happy becomes unfulfilling. What makes you like yourself will always sustain you. When you look in the mirror you like what you see when you have lived a life that has made you feel good about being who you are.

These two questions and their answers are often enough to start to open to your life’s purpose and what you were born to do. You might find you are already on the right path, or that some of the choices you have made in your life start to make sense. It might be that you always find yourself in relationships and friendships where you are healing the person. Only to discover that you like yourself the most when you are helping people, but you would rather not have this in your personal life. Whatever you signed up for in the contract of your life’s purpose you can change! Imagine if life really did start with a form, you could go back to the form and change the boxes you ticked. I believe though intention you can change what isn’t working for you. So you can do your life’s work without it taking over the whole of who you are. After all life isn’t only about purpose, it’s about finding the joy too

This is what is known as a mild awakening experience. It’s a step towards a feeling of oneness and connection with everything.

There are three stages of awakening. The first is what I am describing, simply being engaged with your environment. The second is when the world becomes really sharp; you are in a state of ‘mindfulness’. As you witness what’s around you, you are in the moment in a kind of state of ‘being in love’ with everything. The final stage, is when you lose track of yourself, you feel at one with everything. You have a sense of divine love coursing through you, connecting you to everything that is. You are the universal energy and it is you. I’m unlikely to be feeling the latter in the middle of Kings Cross station, but why not?

I have been feeling the latter a lot in the past few weeks. I have been in the privileged position of being in some of the most beautiful nature in the world, surrounded by mountains in Pirque in Chile. Time slipped by without me noticing, I watched the sun setting most evenings and felt as if I was at one with the reddening sky. Animals reacted to me defiantly lizards approached my hands without fear. I couldn’t see where I ended and everything else began. There was no chicken or egg, everything was one. Timeless.

I have been doing lots of research on awakening experiences and the link between them and intuition for my next book. It seems that most awakenings happen when in nature. It’s easy to understand why, as often when we are in nature we slow down, when in the city it is often impossible to take great notice of where you are simply from the volume of fast moving bodies that surround you.

Having stepped out of the UK for a few weeks, you get that sense of being disconnected from your own culture. You become the observer for a while, as your own vibration has changed. I have slowed down and I am vibrating more in frequency with the Chilean culture and the nature I was in. We all know this feeling; a person from the country can spot someone from the city simply due to the speed their energy is vibrating at. It takes us a while to as we say ‘unwind’.

Having lived in London for twenty years and only in the past year moved back to the country, I have noticed how ‘asleep’ London feels. But never more so than this morning, the very heart of most of the people I saw seemed closed. The light in the eyes that normally burns so brightly was out. When I lived in London, getting out into the country seemed like such a hassle. London has an M25 moat running around it and if you want to get out by public transport, you need to book in advance to make it affordable. So often, unless you have purpose, you don’t bother leaving and if you have purpose, you’re too busy to be spending time needed in nature to feel it. I believe that you have to be out in the trees, the mountains and the water, to reconnect with yourself, life and with the universal energy. You just need to be able to really see the sky; the expanse of that itself can cause an awakening experience.

In all of this I had a big but simple realisation this morning; I have ended up furious every time I have had to travel in London with my Dog. I couldn’t understand how people could look at her, and yet not see her and almost step on her. Some people react in the ‘oh how cute a Dog’ way, but to most she is simply invisible. Trying to get across London with her is stressful. I now understand that she is part of nature, and when you are asleep to life, you can’t see nature. Within nature is all the most beauty that can make you feel connected with life. If you are unconnected to this nature you don’t see beauty. No wonder people jump in front of tube trains. I believe that being disconnected causes the kind of ‘asleep’ that can lead to coma!

I’m not against the city, I miss living in London in many ways, so I am not being a reformed ‘smoker’ here, nagging everyone else to give up. What I am doing I hope is giving a reminder from my position of privilege having just come back from Chile, to remind you to take the time to connect with who you are and expand that into the world around you. Awaking experience ‘light’ can happen in London. I remember sitting on the grass in Leicester Square when I worked for Haagen Dazs, feeling completely in love with everything, people walking past me smiled at me and I felt joyous. Well, ok, this could have been caused by a sugar rush, I ate a lot of ice-cream at the time.

When we don’t see nature we end up not being able to see ourselves. This is why when you are surrounded by people in the city, you can feel so alone. As humans, we really do stop being able to see each other. We don’t see that the old, pregnant or disabled need a seat. We don’t move out of the way when we are blocking the pavement.

We become numb to life. Awakening isn’t just about some spiritual enlightenment or a shift of consciousness, it’s about choosing life and being alive in that choice.

Here it is in summary: The mind-body-spirit/self-development industry seems to be divided into two main camps. “You can be, do or have anything you want in life. My teachings assist you.” and “You may not get what you think you want in life, but you will discover who you are and what is possible. The results may exceed anything you’ve ever dreamed of.”

My teaching and consultations fall into the latter category. I believe in spiritual breakthrough rather than spiritual bypass. However the former is the one that puts the most ‘bums on seats’ at events and what many clients want. Let’s face it, working on yourself and confronting your ego is no easy task. Most people would love to find a very simple solution to avoid pain. But pain is a natural part of life; it is a growth tool, and we need to stop and reflect; we need to feel, otherwise, what is life all about?

We all get stuck from time to time, so going to classes in self-development, reading books, or consulting someone for help is advisable. However I have discovered that many teachings in life-coaching models encourage speakers and the people you consult for help to ‘Poke your pain’. To poke a client’s or audience’s pain, basically means to make them feel terrible about themselves or their situation, and then offer them a relatively easy solution. It normally involves parting with money. But when a person is in pain they will do anything to get out of pain and avoid future pain. Practitioners may charge large amounts of money, as the perception is the more you pay the better the results of the work. This often leaves the person in debt with no change in situation.

I have to say it does make me really frustrated. Getting what you want is only possible when you really think about why you want it. Problems cannot be bypassed if you want long term sustainable change.

It’s easy to sell bread to the starving, but teach them to bake the bread themselves and they never go hungry. Terrible business plan, but surely the art of helping people grow is to give them the fertile soil to do it themselves.

‘Put downs’ are very different; they take power and positive energy away rather than giving positivity. Often this change of intention is down to fear. A person can fear losing control; it can even be caused because they like the person. I remember my grandmother telling me that the boys who push you in the playground ‘like’ you. I thought that was ridicules at the time, but I can see her point now. Women often use words to test men, see how strong they are or how committed they are. This comes from choosing a man as a father for a future father or protection the family from other tribes.

Banter through flirtation between a man and a woman can easily shift into put downs. Masculine energy, which can reside in a man or a woman, tends to be competitive. The feminine energy likes a sense of fullness and attention. The feminine will banter in order to feel full attention, but if this becomes competition based then the male energy will become competitive and then the intention shifts into put downs.

Even though the words are the same the energy is different. You might not realise at first, but these comments become small piranha bites out of your self-esteem.

The best conversations are the ones that make you feel affirmed. We don’t need people to always agree with us, as many of us learn through conversation. Kindness needs to be the back bone for all human interaction, sadly it’s often competition that becomes the back bone. Kindness bends, moves and gives, like our own spin; competition is rigid, and more likely to break a connection.  We do need to take responsibility for our emotional triggers, our intention and the very energy we bring into a room, let alone into a friendship or someone’s heart.

This is the shift of consciousness; we knew it was coming for a long time. I first heard about this about fifteen years ago; it seemed so far away. It was described as though it was an apocalyptic disaster.  Many of the things they said would happen are happening, but I thought years ago that the sky would turn red and all manner of terrible things would happen in one go. I’m thankful thus far that this isn’t the case.

I have also been seeing number patterns, for example seeing 11.11 on the clock, or in other random ways. I know many others have had this experience, and I have never normally been someone who has a belief in dates and being bitterly disappointed that ‘two thousand zero zero…party over…whoops – out of time’ didn’t happen as Prince and Nostradamus had promised. However I do believe in the power of numbers: maths to be exact. I hated maths at school and ended ungraded in my maths exam. So when I had maths as a part of my Degree I thought I was done for. However I now love numbers! The degree module was maths as archetypes in nature and art. I found maths is the basic structure of everything in the universe. So when we come across dates such as 11/11/11 there is an energy to those numbers. All over the world people will be writing those numbers. The date on a newspapers, when writing cheques, everywhere. In Chinese writing the figures look like symbolic pictures of what the words mean. If we look at 11; it looks like two pillars next to each other, the coming together of two things, perhaps two people. It is very symbolic of unity.

I believe in a collective consciousness also known as a morphic field; that we are all linked at a level of consciousness. Having so many people writing a symbol of unity on the same day is rather powerful. You might like to look at where you would like unity in your own life, or wish for unity in parts of the world that so desperately need a coming together. It will be interesting to see what happens in the coming weeks, it is sure to be a very powerful time for change.

We keep hearing that we are at a point of economic collapse; I personally believe that things are much worse than we are being lead to believe. But what do I mean by worse? I’m really looking from a perspective of good and bad based on the social structure that we have become used to, a structure that has resulted in a global unhappiness. I am excited to see what is possible when we start to value people over an unsustainable progression that leaves too many people suffering. I am however scared, because people are struggling through this change. It’s hard to let go of everything you believed in. Fear is a part of it, its right to fear, but it’s choosing love in the face of fear that counts. There is such a big clearing happening, you have to know its ok to let it go.

I have been delighted to see so many positive comments on facebook. Amazed to see all the happenings on Wall Street and surprised that we haven’t seen much about it in the UK news. People are rising up and staying ‘NO’ when in Britain it used be hard to get anyone to vote. We are starting to care for our old people after years of dropping them like trash because they didn’t have value in a commercial based society. I could list so many great things I am witnessing, but what I will stay, is we are finally waking up to what really matters: Love, pure and simple love. Now there can’t really be anything to fear in that can there J